I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God’s existence. The professor presented the following logic: “Has anyone in this class heard God?” Nobody spoke. “Has anyone in this class touched God?” Again, nobody spoke. “Has anyone in this class seen God?” When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, “Then there is no God.”
One student thought for a second, and then asked for permission to reply. Curious to hear this bold student’s response, the professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates: “Has anyone in this class heard our professor’s brain?” Silence. “Has anyone in this class touched our professor’s brain?” Absolute silence. “Has anyone in this class seen our professor’s brain?”
Scripture:
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Humor:
The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene hampered him and he asked his home office to hire a plane. Arrangements were made and he was told to go at once to a nearby airport, where the plane would be waiting. When he arrived at the airport, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, “Let’s go! Let’s go!” The pilot swung the plane into the wind and they soon were in the air. “Fly over the north side of the fire,” yelled the photographer, “and make three or four low level passes.” “Why?” asked the pilot. “Because I’m going to take pictures,” cried the photographer. “I’m a photographer and photographers take pictures!” After a pause the pilot said, “You mean you’re not the instructor?”
Two taxidermists stopped before a window in which an owl was on display. They immediately began to criticize the way it was mounted. Its eyes were not natural; its wings were not in proportion with its head; its feathers were not neatly arranged; and its feet could be improved. When they had finished with their criticism, the old owl turned his head… and winked at them.
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1/22–An enthusiastic but somewhat unscrupulous salesman was waiting to see the purchasing agent of the engineering firm where my husband worked. The salesman was there to submit his company’s bid, or price quote, for a particular job. He couldn’t help but notice, however, that a competitor’s bid was on the purchasing agent’s desk. Unfortunately, the actual figure was covered by a can of juice. The temptation to see the amount quoted became too much, so the salesman lifted the can. His heart sank as he watched thousands of BB’s pour from the bottomless can and scatter across the floor. oh
Scripture:
Romans 12:17-18
Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
Humor:
1/22–As someone else has said, “She won’t listen to her conscience. She doesn’t want to take advice from a total stranger.”
If you can’t find five minutes, can you spare just two or three?
An enthusiastic but somewhat unscrupulous salesman was waiting to see the purchasing agent of the engineering firm where my husband worked. The salesman was there to submit his company’s bid, or price quote, for a particular job. He couldn’t help but notice, however, that a competitor’s bid was on the purchasing agent’s desk. Unfortunately, the actual figure was covered by a can of juice. The temptation to see the amount quoted became too much, so the salesman lifted the can. His heart sank as he watched thousands of BB’s pour from the bottomless can and scatter across the floor.
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What to do when something or someone tries to bury you—-I heard the story about a man who had an old mule that he really loved. One day the man couldn’t find the old mule and he began to panic. He checked the fence to see if got out, but everything looked good. Then he remembered the big, deep hole he had had dug just a few days earlier. He ran as fast as he could to the hole, and sure enough his fears were confirmed. The old mule looked up at him from the bottom of the hole. The only thing he knew that was left to do, was to just put him out of his misery. So he go a shovel and began to throw the dirt down on top of the mule. When he went to get the second shovel full he was amazed. The old mule just shook off the dirt and packed it down with his feet. He quickly started shoveling as fast as he could. Each time the mule shook the dirt off and packed it down, until before long the old mule was at the top and just walked on out. So when someone digs a hole and puts you in it, and tries to bury you with dirt….just shake it off, pack it down, and walk on out.
Smile and whisper—The next time somone wants to argue with you try this technique. It is very hard to argue with someone when they are smiling and whispering. Try it sometime!
Why me Lord?— This was the title to a popular song a few years ago. Unfortunately most people are using it ask why me, meaning the bad. Why am I the one to have trouble, bad breaks, etc. I ask instead why was I the one to receive so many good things. Bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people. Just because some bad things happen to me, doesn’t mean at all that I am a bad person.
Many great people have asked why before. Even Jesus in the garden said why has Thou forsaken Me. But God has all the why answers!!
The Two Wolves—I remember, as a child, seeing on cartoons an angel on one shoulder and a devil sitting on the other. They pull in different directions. The devil made me do it was Flip Wison’s line. I heard about the old Indian whose son was becoming a man. The older Indian told the son that there were two wolves within,a good wolfe and a bad wolfe, both trying to gain the lead in his life. Which one will win, the son wanted to know? The father told him it would be the one he fed. Which thoughts will you feed, the good or the bad? Will you side with the positive thoughts or the negative ones? It is up to you, and you alone.
Practice–Allen Iverson had a lot to say about the subject of practice. After the basketball game, he went off on a reporter who asked him about his practice effort. I know what Iverson was trying to say, that it is the game, after all, which matters most. I have seen people at the work place who did not come to work good. Then, after they were there, they just tried to make do with the minimum effort. They were just marking time, just getting by. But, just as sure as promotions were given out, they couldn’t figure how why they were not chosen.
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But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, even the hidden wisdom, which God ordained before the world unto our glory: Which none of the princes of this world knew: for had they known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.
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