12/29–The “Coronary and Ulcer Club” lists the following rules for members…
1. Your job comes first. Forget everything else.
2. Saturdays, Sundays, and holidays are fine times to be working at the office. There will be nobody else there to bother you.
3. Always have your briefcase with you when not at your desk. This provides an opportunity to review completely all the troubles and worries of the day.
4. Never say “no” to a request. Always say “yes.”
5. Accept all invitations to meetings, banquets, committees, etc.
6. All forms of recreation are a waste of time.
7. Never delegate responsibility to others; carry the entire load yourself.
8. If your work calls for traveling, work all day and travel at night to keep that appointment you made for eight the next morning.
9. No matter how many jobs you already are doing, remember you always can take on more.
Bits & Pieces, January 7, 1993, pp. 9-10.
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11/28–A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly he heard a voice that trembled like the thunder. It was God’s voice and he told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin.
God explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might.
Each night the man returned to his cabin sore, and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain. Seeing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, Satan decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man’s weary mind: “You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn’t budged. Why kill yourself over this? You are never going to move it.” Thus giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure, these thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.
Why kill myself over this?” he thought. “I’ll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort and that will be good enough.”
And that he planned to do until next day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to God.
“God”, he said, “I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?”
God responded compassionately, “My friend, when I asked you to serve me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to me, with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so?”
Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewed and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven’t moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you have done.”
“I, my friend, will now move the rock.”
At times when we read the scriptures, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is being obedient.
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But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost, Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
Humor:
Ever made mistakes.
A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card. It said, “Rest in Peace.”
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, “Congratulations on your new location.”
During the 17th century, Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of England, sentenced a soldier to be shot for his crimes.
The execution was to take place at the ringing of the evening curfew bell. However, the bell did not sound.
The soldier’s fiancé had climbed into the belfry and clung to the great clapper of the bell to prevent it from striking.
When she was summoned by Cromwell to account for her actions, she wept as she showed him her bruised and bleeding hands. Cromwell’s heart was touched and he said, “Your lover shall live because of your sacrifice. Curfew shall not ring tonight!”
Plato wrote the first sentence of his famous Republic nine different ways before he was satisfied.
Cicero practiced speaking before friends every day for thirty years to perfect his elocution.
Noah Webster labored 36 years writing his dictionary, crossing the Atlantic twice to gather material.
Milton rose at 4:00 am every day in order to have enough hours for his Paradise Lost.
Gibbon spent 26 years on his Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.
Bryant rewrote one of his poetic masterpieces 99 times before publication, and it became a classic.
It is said that Thomas Edison performed 50,000 (sic) experiments before he succeeded in producing a storage battery. We might assume the famous inventor would have had some serious doubts along the way. But when asked if he ever became discouraged working so longwithout results, Edison replied, “Results? Why, I know 50,000 things that won’t work.”
Today in the Word, August, 1990.
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Proverbs 6:16-19. These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
11/27–A farmer who noticed that smoke was coming from the middle of his wheat field and went to examine the place and he indeed found that someone had started a fire.
Now instead of putting it out, he wanted everyone to see and show them what someone had started in his field. However, as he picked up the fire for evidence and started carrying it out of the field he noticed that he was dropping sparks of fire and as he looked back he had set his whole field on fire.
Sometimes it is just better to put an end to things rather than spread gossip about someone.
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but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
Where no counsel is, the people fall:
but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.
Humor:
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year and every year when Stumpy saw the antique bi-plane he would say, “Martha, I’d like to ride in that airplane.” Martha always replied, “I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs 10 dollars, and 10 dollars is 10 dollars.
One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, “Martha, I’m 81 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane I might never get another chance.” Martha replied, “Stumpy, that airplane ride cost 10 dollars, and 10 dollars is 10 dollars.
The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you; but if you say one word it’s 10 dollars.”
Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Stumpy and said, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.”
Stumpy replied, “Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but 10 dollars is 10 dollars.”
There’s a Spanish story of a father and son who had become estranged. The son ran away, and the father set off to find him. He searched for months to no avail. Finally, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father put an ad in a Madrid newspaper. The ad read: Dear Paco, meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your Father. On Saturday 10 Pacos showed up, looking for forgiveness and love from their fathers.
Bits & Pieces, October 15, 1992, pp. 1
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